Today has been so sweet. For the past 2 weeks I have been doing a Bible Study called "Discerning The Voice of God". I haven't been able to attend the meetings but I have done my homework, and finally yesterday I was able to go, because all was well in our house. This last week has been especially sweet, because I have really felt the holy spirit speaking to me.
Before I go on, I don't want you to think, #1. I am boasting, or #2 I am crazy. I give all glory to God. That is what is supposed to happen. If you truly believe in God, He is supposed to direct your life. Once you become a believer, the holy spirit takes residence in you. He is always there, though you might not want or care to listen. Back in the Old Testament, the only way God would speak to people was through prophets, or if it was an occasion where you REALLY needed direction, he would appear and speak to you. Otherwise, you were pretty much in the dark! Now, if you believe God is real, and is your savior, he is available 24/7 and what peace He brings when you realize that He knows exactly what is best for you!
So, I've been doing my bible study like everyone else, when all of a sudden I sense that God is telling me to take some focus off of some of the things I've been into lately. I didn't understand how I could do this because I think it is good to have hobbies, but in my free time (such as naps, or after the girls would go to bed) I would be working on my quilt, or uploading photos, editing photos, or cleaning. I should be spending more time with God. And each day that I did my study, things would pop out at me, that made me know and confirm that this is what God wanted me to do. So, today I woke up at 5:50, peter is gone by now working in the field before the rain comes, but I decide to let God know that if he wants me to get up early, to wake me up at 6:30 or whenever so I could spend some time with him. Well, 10 minutes later I am still not falling asleep. So I just get up. This morning I spent about 30 minutes reading my bible study and once again it was confirmed to me that He wanted me to do this. There were lots of opportunities in this bible study passage to look up different books of the bible. This bible study was about God being persistent. He keeps knocking on your heart... but you have to make that choice whether or not to listen.
One thing that is so awesome is how even though you resist God, he still calls to you. Even when you become a believer, the holy spirit still tries to mold you so that your desires for God get stronger, and you begin to be passionate about what God is passionate about. You love what God loves, and you hate what God hates. All these things that mattered a lot to you before you intimately knew God, doesn't matter anymore. I remember when I was in high school... I thought, "Okay, I really want to know God, but I don't want to be one of those really religious people. And I don't want to do it now, how about 10 years when I'm married. I mean, I believe in God... so I'll be fine for now". In my church, I will just always remember this testimony that was given....it was a man who was asked the question, "Why are you a Christian?" and he said "Burning in hell forever scares me". I just thought that was so powerful. Trust me, if you ask God to transform your heart, He will. It might take some time, but He really will. And your thoughts of "I don't want to be that religious, because it's nerdy, or because - what will people think of me, - I won't get to do anything fun anymore like drinking or gossiping or whatever." When your heart and mind is transformed, those things aren't a care in the world anymore. Your heart will be changed and it WONT BE HARD!!!