Wednesday, September 28, 2011

its true..


I am trying to squander literally enough energy to type this. I know, I haven't written on here forever and it makes me sad. A few weeks ago, my kids developed bad coughs and I was praying it would pass me by at least until the wedding was over. The wedding was this Saturday, and my itchy throat began Friday night. Luckily I was able to get through the song without gunk in my throat, but all of Sunday through now I have not been feeling well. Monday and today are awful. Poor, poor kids. I am actually thankful Kate gets to go to school because I just haven't been feeling well enough to even play with them! I would say at least an hour of TV has been on, and they've been playing with babies and books, and when I had to make lunch, they played outside for a little bit. Now it is 'nap time'-- hoping Maddy is asleep but kate has 'rest time' now. I couldn't bear to put her down for a nap... she gets to read books and color for a little while.

Though I know this time will hopefully pass soon, it is devastating to me. I'm used to being with them outside, making nutritious meals, doing crafts, etc. The kitchen literally has 20 or more fruit flies from all the old food and garbage lying around, Peter ran out of clean clothes yesterday, there's mountains of trash everywhere, crumbs on the floor, loads (AND LOADS) of laundry needing to be washed, kitchen is unsanitary, the fridge has moldy food in it, (though i've tried picking through some of it), I can't keep up with dishes and when I do, a meal needs to be made. Really the list goes on and on.  I can't really do anything about it. It is the busiest time of the whole year (in farming times) and I just have to do it when I can.  It has helped already just to write this down.. and though this is all overwhelming to me at the moment, as I cried to Peter yesterday he reminded me that God made me strong to handle situations like this so that I can continue to serve others. Finally, a light appeared in this dark home. There's always serving opportunities and though I am belly-aching about my own, I still have a purpose and I need to serve the best that I can!

It also made me realize that whenever i start to feel like this, God really opens up my eyes to the needs of others. How little my problems seem.  Praying that I can have a thankful attitude always and not to get wrapped up in life's worries. 

Thursday, September 22, 2011

just enough.

today i had lists of things to do.  my own agenda of what needed to be done.  

During my quiet time today I asked God to open my eyes. You see, when life gets 'busy', sometimes we are disconnected from the actual world even though it really feels like we are wordly. I hope that makes sense. Today I prayed for a little boy at the rescue center who has been doing well for most of the time until this last week. I guess I just can't handle seeing little kids suffer. I still remember how one of the workers/volunteers there explained how this little girl would whimper in pain. begging for water even though she could not hold it down.  ok, god, you sure opened up my eyes.  as I prayed in tears tonight while Peter held my hand, was that God really would open up our eyes, even if it meant pain. It is not fun to see people suffer, and I pray every day that it is not my own family who suffers. But I hope that I never become accustomed to every day living on earth, where I just do what I do because that's how it's supposed to be. I want to have purpose. I want to be helpful, and not just needy. I want to serve, and not just be served. I just want to be generous! I want to pray ALL. THE. TIME.   We just all need an awakening. Sometimes we just need to boldly ask God to open our eyes!  and He really will.

Song on my heart today:

so close

well, it's THURSDAY! which means tomorrow we leave for Fargo, ND to celebrate the upcoming marriage of my sister in law, Chelsie.  I still remember getting the call from her to tell us of the engagement. Now, it's already here. A lot has gone into this wedding, too... so it's sort of bittersweet. We're hoping to leave fairly early tomorrow to make it in time for the Bridesmaid luncheon, and then later that day, the rehearsal. I think,really, the whole two days will be a blur. I'm sure it will go by so fast with so many things to do. I'm looking forward to it, though, and hoping everyone sleeps well. Today will be a hugely busy day for me as I rush to finish everything on my list. Packing will take up most of the day and I am just in NEED to pack most things into the car TONIGHT! So many times we've failed in leaving on time because there was too much time wasted putting things into the car that could have been done the night before. So that is my plea to peter. I can say this now, of course, but I am really hoping dishes and things could be cleaned up before we go. Knowing me, I will lose hope and give up and not care before we leave, but i'm telling you now, that's the goal ! :)

It was so nice for Peter to come home at 3pm yesterday. I feel like I haven't seen him much. He worked til 9pm Monday night before the rain to get as much done as possible. We have a feeling this is going to be a long fall. With temperatures just gone whacky, and rain here and there, i just don't know how much of harvest I can bear. It's funny, when we're just about to start planting, I always flash forward to beets. "I wonder how i'll feel this year with beets". :)  Anyway, i better get busy...lots and lots to do.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

worth blogging for

Today was both a happy and sad day. As I was driving Kate to her first day of pre-school I was suddenly reflecting on her as a tiny baby. How little she once was, in my arms, being nursed and rocked to sleep. They don't kid when they tell you "they grow up fast". It's really true. I was happy for her because she gets to experience new friends, teachers, independence, and new fun crafts that I don't always get to provide. It was even worse when I got home and the house was totally silent. I missed her and wanted her to come back. But as the day progressed and it came time to pick her up, Maddy and I were both excited to see her. She had a smile that was glued to her face as she talked about how fun school was and what she got to do. All day I heard snippets of things she did throughout the day. For her first day of school, I made her a dirt cake with some gummy worms on top. Though now, she is tucked in bed (and soon will I!) I look forward to spending tomorrow with both her and Maddy and hopefully be the best mom I can be!

Saturday, September 10, 2011

latest photos

  I'm really just too tired to explain... we just gone done with movie night and i thought i'd upload a couple of the latest pictures. I'm all caught up with ordering photos... now just to put them into albums! All 400 new ones...  good night!

Thursday, September 8, 2011

growing up

I don't know if I've been blind the last year or so, but my Kate is growing up! Last night we went to her preschool meeting to introduce her to the teachers and her room.  I will admit, over the last year I've struggled, prayed and wondered where she'd go to school or if she'd stay at home with me.We did a test run last year( see here and here)  I really didn't feel God was leading me to that, but more-so to be teaching her about God and scripture. Lately it has been confirmed to me that preschool is just where she should be. She seems so terribly excited for it, and I couldn't bear to take that from her. I think she'll have lots of fun and it will be good for some Maddy and Me time!

The guys finished grain tonight, finally, and next it will be beans. Also, I can't even believe it, but soon it will be Chelsie (my sister in law)'s wedding! I feel like I am not quite prepared for it, though all I really have to do is get some shoes (check) get my dress (check) and help my mother in law with a few details (not quite a check). oh, I also have to get a dress altered that I plan to wear that weekend, which is also not a check. So, I do have a few things to do and normally I get things done with tons of time to spare but it seems like lately there's always something going on and things to do. This Saturday I am really looking forward to a Beth Moore simulcast, Sunday there is another bridal shower, Monday is triad, Tuesday is Kate's first day of preschool and then the rest of the Tuesdays will be a Beth Moore bible study that I might try to attend.  It is 8:30 now and I am fighting myself to get on the elliptical. 15 minutes really isn't that long, I'm just lazy. I'm glad I could tell you about my day/week and maybe later after I exercise I can upload some pictures I took over the last couple days.  More later!

Monday, September 5, 2011

fun weekend

I am wishing right now that my photos were uploaded and all edited. also that my floors were washed and carpets vacuumed. It would be great if Kate's room was a little tidy(er). Butttttt, I can honestly say that I don't care! It is nice to not care. This week I am working on not being 'overwhelmed' and to do what I can, when I can. If it doesn't get done, oh well. My primary goal this week is to have meals prepared on time and in advance, and to exercise once in a while. It would be great if it were every day but I know that won't happen, so being hopeful for a couple days a week I think is a good goal. I also want to read more at night or during nap time and play more games with the kids. I don't think we always have to be on-the-go and doing something outside.

We had a really nice time visiting my sister in Bismark, ND. It was a long ride up there but the ride home was much better. We originally were only going to stay for one night, but we ran out of time on Saturday and decided we could do an extra night. It felt good for once, not having to pay for a hotel! Instead we treated my family to a meal which was also fun. I will most likely be visiting during beets (by myself though) so i am hoping that the ride there will be okay.  We visited the zoo and went to a carnival, which was also very fun. The kids even napped and we shopped for a little while. Peter even got some great labor day deals.  I think that is all for now... it's time for bed!