daily struggles

The last couple of days have been very trying for me! I am very slowly learning how to deal with a child that is completely opposite of Kate. She has really tested my patience the last two days. So, if you remember to pray for me... pray that I can still choose to be loving regardless of how stressful the day is. I don't want to yell and get upset... I just want to still be reminded to be loving. I want to die to my daily sins and struggles and as I read through Romans 7:17 this morning.. it really spoke to me.

(The Message) "For if I know the law but still can't keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I decide to do good, but I don't really do it. I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyways. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God's commands but it's pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight.Is there no one who can do anything for me?  The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different. "

Basically for me, I don't always react in loving ways. I want to, but if my husband upsets me, I sometimes say sarcastic things... or when my children are out of order, I yell... and I don't want to do that. God help me! It is also hard when we live in a world of material things... all we do is want want want and we are continually influenced by things and people with wrong motives or intentions.  That is the sin tripping us up.

On a different note: It is about a week and a few days until Maddy's birthday party. Our table and chairs that we ordered for her came yesterday! I finished the banner, finally and now I am working on the little details. Next week will prove to be very busy because I have tons of baking and cooking to do. Primarily on Friday.... I am choosing to do cupcakes and the cake that day because I stress out too much the day of, and then I find myself putting on my last speck of makeup at 4:29, right before the party starts... still with wet hair. I just want to be totally prepared so that we can enjoy the day. I will be really happy once Friday is done with because then I will for sure know what I have to do and prepare for the next day. This year has been so much fun to plan for the birthday party. Shabby chic is my favorite decorating style so it has been a dream come true to plan. I am so happy for facebook and blogs because in the past year I have been following so many blogs that pop out ideas every single day... so it's not even hard to get ideas because they come right to me!

I have been continuing to work out and it has been a joy. I usually feel pretty good after but it has been extremely hard to balance all the rest of what I am supposed to do. I've been getting up earlier to read my bible since I have so much material to go through between the bible studies I'm in, and there's just not enough nap time to do everything in. Maddy has been taking very short naps and getting up almost every night at 5 or 6 am... I"m just not sure what is going on with her. I find myself going to bed really late at night and then being overly tired the next day. My house is usually messy and that, too, has been a huge struggle. I am working on being okay that it's lived in and that it doesn't have to be perfect.  I better get going now... my time is up!