Bittersweet

Today is bittersweet. As of right now i've gone almost 36 hours without pumping. So, I am officially done.  It is bittersweet (mostly bitter) because I am still not 100% ready to let it go. But, I dont really see a point to it. It started to become painful to pump and I was slowly producing less and less. I was getting 2 bottles a day, to hardly 4 oz. a day. Now, I had gone 20 hours and got 2 ounces. I dont know what i'd get if i tried now. All day I have been thinking.."should I pump?"--then i'd talk myself out of it, and then talk myself into it... etc. I just want to close the door on this sweet chapter of my life.  In a few days, hopefully I will feel better. It is hard because I know i could have done it longer...It was just getting to be too painful. I cringed every time I had to do it. So anyway, I made it to my goal of 10 months. I am so proud of myself because I thought i was going to be done at 8 months...and i stuck with it for 2 more months. I have two bottles left to give her, and then she'll have to be strictly on formula.

This week seems full. Every day there's something going on. Thursday peter curls, friday is our date night, saturday we have my nephews birthday party in TR, and sunday is Valentines Day!  I better get to bed though soon because Maddy was up at 6:30 this morning, and I am not used to that. Plus, Kate hasnt been napping this last week. Maybe she did on Monday, but really, who is counting.  I am going to try again with potty training. If anyone has ideas....... please........i will try anything.  She screams if i show her underwear. Help!
ooh, also I have been working a little more on my quilt for Kate. I got all the cutting done and now it will be strictly sewing. I will try to bring my camera in when I start sewing to have some pictures taken. I am going to the community center to sew.  I wish i could go more, but obviously i have to wait for peter to be home from work or when he has a day off.  So anyway, i have more pictures of course but it will have to wait.

Photo shoot with kate & maddy

I am glad that blogger can save drafts. I have been uploading and putting pictures up for a few days now, and i finally get to post them. I dont have much time to write but I thought i would at least take the time to put something up since it's been a few days. Anyway, it's hard to remember what pictures i've put up on facebook, but most of these you've probably already seen.  These were taken so that i could mail out a valentines day card, which is coming soon. They just need to be picked up. So if anyone is going to walmart before wednesday this week, let me know! Well i guess i need to go - i already ran out of time.  I might blog more later but there is cleaning to do after a fun superbowl party we hosted. we had 4 other couples -- and it was a success. It is so nice to be able to do things with friends, even though we all have kids. I am glad for kate, because she really had a fun time. More later.

Sarah and Cole's Engagement Pictures

I have done quite a lot of picture taking in the last few days.  This morning I got to take some engagement photos of my special friend from highschool.  Here are a few favorites....although it is hard to just pick a few!! And i loved every minute of it... even if it was minus 7 degrees outside.

PS I LOVE THE NEW DESIGN FOR UPLOADING PICTURES!!! IT WORKS SO MUCH BETTER!!

leftovers...? what?

Well, we had leftovers for the first time as a family of 4.  That might actually be true, becasue Maddy has just kinda started eating a lot more of our meals, even though she only has 2 1/2 teeth.  Anyway, it was so good, I had to post it. I also realize I had been made fun of by a couple people because I had posted pictures of my food in the past.  So, this means I dont care:

Ingredients:

Smoked provolone cheese

French Bread slices

Leftover meat from a roast

onion

green pepper

Worcestershire sauce

olive oil

mayo

Directions:

Soak meat in a couple ounces of w. sauce for 15 minutes. While that is marinating, saute onion and green pepper in oil. Add meat to this mixture and allow to cook for 5 minutes. Toast slices of french bread in oven (I drizzled a little olive oil on them and let them crisp up a bit at 350). I then added the meat mixture on top and added farmers cheese, though it calls for smoked provolone cheese) and let it melt for about 5 minutes. I added REAL mayo , not miracle whip (I learned that's what Subway uses, I always though it was miracle whip!) and I ate it open-faced, like the picture above. Even peter liked it.  We also served baked potato soup with it. If you want the recipe for that I can post it as well.   Finally, a beef sandwhich that we both liked!

While I am at it, here is a picture of the coffee-mocha cheesecake I made for Christmas. It was a hit, and it really did taste like coffee

cards

I've been into card making the last few years. Most of the 'nice' ones i've done I dont think i've stopped to take a photo of. But, I have been trying to do so lately, so that I can look back for ideas. The top two are cards i've made in the last month or two, and the last one is one i made last year (2008) for someone for christmas. There's more to come!

there's a storm brewin'....

today is saturday. I am on the couch with my warm rice bag. You know what time of month it is.... yes, it came yesterday, the day of my appointment. Luckily I wasnt planning on going anyway becuase of the freezing drizzle predicted. I made the appointment for the upcoming Monday, so we'll see if i get there or not.

I havent been taking a lot of pictures, but some. I will post those soon. I am listening to peter and kate do dishes. This last week, starting Tuesday, Maddy has had a fever for the most part, and just cut her top right tooth on Thursday! I hope she gets better. She's had an awful cough this week. Kate had a runny nose for about a day, and then i am just getting over a cold that I"ve had for a couple days. Now I am back to being 'sick' again, which is ok. At least peter is home to help.

Last night we had our weekly date night. We joined netflix and we get a movie each week, and this week "fireproof' came in the mail. We dont get to decide which movie comes, we just sign up for about 6 or so. I was soo impressed with the movie. I wish I could watch movies like that every week. It just had a really good message. I mean, for sure the actors werent the greatest, but I dont even care! It was, I think, all done by a church. So anyway, peter and I left our livingrooms just feeling really good and convicted. and thankful for eachother. now today he is doing dishes for me and I get to sit and play on my blog. I would like to cut some fabric for kate's quilt... i will post pictures of that too--my progress. anyway, there's supposed to be this big storm coming. We were a little worried that the freezing rain would turn into freezing power lines=no power. So last night I got some water saved in a couple of old milk jugs.... just in case.

Monday Funday?

Today is Monday the 18th. Over the last two or so months, I have been struggling with breastfeeding. It started in November when I had gone away for about 4-5 hours, and came back to pump. In that amount of time, I only pumped out 2 1/2 ounces!!! This child was living off of probably 3-4 oz, every two hours. It is only partially my fault though. At about 4 months old she was nice and plump. Then she began to only want to drink for 5 min. on each side... which altered how much milk i was producing. Kate would always make so much noise, maddy would get distracted. Anyway, so last night i was pretty darn sure i had to quit. The first two times my milk supply started to get really low, i cried and cried and cried. I was determined to get it back. I took herbal supplements and it did work, a little. It probably boosted my supply up to an ounce greater. But it has dropped again, and last night i was pretty sure (and kinda ok) with being done. I realized that it's not even the 'bond' i have with her when i nurse, (because i pretty much only pump) and i'm ok if she doesnt get that bottle of breast milk a day.... the thing that is hitting me the most is that, when my milk supply is completely gone..... so is her babyhood. I'm taking supplements again, for the third time in 2 months, and i'm drinking more water, and I am also trying to pump every 3 hours for sure, and we'll see what happens in about 4-5 days. My goal for sure is 10 months.... and i've got two, long hard weeks ahead.

On a lighter note i've been taking more pictures again. So, here they are: