dance

Today.   Full of joy.   Busy, but full of joy.  This morning I went to bible study with the kids- at first I was skeptical about it, but it's a chance for them to be social and my eyes seem more open for chances to involve them with other kids.  I suppose it's a win-win. :)   We got home, made lunch, put Ella to bed, and started homeschooling.  I let Maddy stay up in hopes that she would behave. After a couple of threats of sending her to nap, she calmed down and even listened in. I have been working on putting summer clothes away and there was a huge mess in their room with clothes neatly folded, but all over the floor and in baskets. I knew it should get cleaned up soon or I would regret it later! I worked on that for a good 20 minutes and before we knew it, we were rushing out the door to dance class. It never fails, we were running late again.  After finally getting to the school and parking on the total opposite side, we were in the room and I watched in excitement and clicked away on my camera, fighting Ella who was very curious. I'm so very excited for them in the upcoming months....what a great experience and opportunity for them!

library

We have been finding good use of the library.  I am sad that our town really doesn't have any resources for really anything..... there's hardly any stay at home moms, zero bible studies, no library,  etc.  It would be nice to live in a community that has a lot to offer.  At least our town has a pool!

My goal is to go to the library once a week. I am hoping that will be easy since we will be in Warren on Tuesdays anyway for bible study in the morning, and then dance in the afternoon. I am going to keep requesting books anyway so even if we don't have time to spend at the library, I can always drop off and get new books.  It has been a wonderful thing for us as we start our homeschooling experience. I am set to receive my curriculum  tomorrow, which I feel really really good about.  It is so fun to know how God has orchestrated every detail, down to what books will be best for Kate. I was a little panicky at first when I realized what we chose might be the wrong stuff for her age level, but I've also heard it's very advanced, so by adding all of the kindergarten level books to her curriculum, it will be just fine.  Plus I was reminded that it is probably what God had intended for her learning style. Plus, now i can use it next year for Maddy and just add some preschool things for her.

This morning I silently thanked God as I went to get Ella out of her crib. It was 7:15 and I was so tired from having a cold and being so busy that I slept in this morning. The kids are wiped out, too. I brought Ella into our bed and fed her her bottle. I had a headache pretty much all night so i put the heating pad on my pillow and that helped it feel better. After she finished, she had her fingers in her mouth, smiling and cooing, and held onto my heart necklace and she snuggled close to me. She was so content, and I just cherished every minute of it. Another reason why we homeschool. More, special time with our kids. Yesterday as we all sat on the couch...we learned about animals and what they use their tales for;  that God provided those hungry with manna from heaven; new words from our literature, what's living and not living, and most of all, the joy of our family.

encouraged

It always amazes me how fast time slips by.  I thought Kate was growing up, but when I look at Maddy.... she is now a little girl.  How did that happen?  I am so glad I am home to enjoy them.

Today has been a really good day. We are slowly tweaking our routine to see what works and what does not. Yesterday was a day that did not work.  Today, however, was a really good day and it left me so encouraged. I am getting my curriculum on Friday and we are having fun with the library books we got yesterday. We are all sick with a cold so that has been a drag the past couple of days but hopefully it doesn't get any worse than it is now! I am running out of energy and I am very tired. I thought about skipping my pump tonight ....but I just don't know if I could do it. I really don't think it would do anything if it was just one time...but I am just not ready :)  Silly me. I am sure I will look back on this and think I was crazy for all the pumping I did when I could have rested.  Praying for another good day tomorrow!

a calling

Yes.  We started homeschooling.   Why?  People ask that when I tell them.  One said "Interesting".  One person even said, "How do you make time to home school?"   Easy.   Homeschooling is THE priority.  And if you have time to spend with your kids, you have time to home school!

I can think of many reasons why we want to home school, but for now I'll list the main reasons.  Kindergarten.  It's too long.  Five days a week, and every day, all day Kindergarten.  The day before she started I was desperately looking into finding a three day kindergarten for her.  I did find one, but it was also 30 minutes away.  I couldn't commit to two whole hours in the car, especially with a small baby and winters in Minnesota. So, we gave it enough time to make a decision, which happened to be just three or four days.  It helped that Kate (along with probably every kindergartener) was overstimulated and cried about why she had to go every day.

The second reason, which should  be the first reason, was a calling from God. I had been called two years ago only to give in to Satan's lies of inadequacy.   I've learned that every mom has those same thoughts and was encouraged that my love for Kate would drive me to provide the best education for her. Even if it meant stretching me.  How can  you ignore such a calling?

After much, much prayer,( like every hour of the day ) we felt at peace with scripture that jumped out at us, or things we saw/heard.  This is what popped up the Friday we took her out of school:

"Opportunities are always lost when we let fear overrule our faith. When God calls you to a task beyond your abilities, instead of giving in to your feelings, choose to rely on what you know about Him and His promises. By moving forward in faith despite your inadequacy, you will discover the Lord's faithfulness. He always empowers us for the works He assigns."

- Encouraging words this morning from Dr. Charles Stanley

Coincidence?  No. Some people just won't understand. Some will have their opinions. Yet I am trusting in God this season to sustain me and bring me through it.  The teaching part is fun.  I get to read and teach my kids.  What better joy is there than that? What better joy to be able to teach the girls about life and how to live it here at home?  Today they learned about trusting God.  But it also means working long hours on everything else and literally running around the house at times to get things done a little faster! :)  I think honestly one reason why I was unable to breastfeed was that when I'm pumping, at least I get to sit!

And the third reason explains it well in this link under the "1. When & why did you initially decide to home school?" section under all the photos; the very first paragraph.

Though I've only had a week at it, it will take some time to get a good routine down. Obviously the perfect situation is to do it during Ella and Maddy's nap time... but that doesn't always work. I have to work around hours of pumping and feeding, preparing meals, tantrums, tiredness, harvest and giggling and wild girls. I don't know where God will bring us with this.  Maybe it's just kindergarten. Maybe it's first and second grade, too.  I just know that we are taking it one year at a time.

 it is the best thing for our family right now.

Joy

I find myself not having anything in particular to write, yet so much has happened.  Maybe a week in photos will help explain... trying to find joy in the littlest things. And when I make an effort?  Beyond blessed.

the hill

The hill..... well.   I like and hate the hill.   It is a place near our home that has been full of memories. Memories I'd like to relive and are memories of some of the sweetest times. It will forever be in my heart because we went to the "hill" the day of finding out Ella was losing weight from nursing.  It was one of the worst days of my life, but one of the sweetest as well. It was a day that we as a family had fun, and I wanted to spend extra time with the oldest because I was spending so much time trying to get Ella to nurse the last couple of weeks.  We had fun on that hill.

When I heard Kate wanted to go to the hill again today.... I smiled with a Yes.  A bit sad I will have to admit.. The hill was a point in time where things changed for us that day early in summer.  It changed a lot. And a lot of sadness came after that day.  I knew going to the hill today would be another point in time that things would change once again. It was going to be hard without kate.

But instead of crying through this blog post, I want to remember the fun times we had up until school.  I want to start writing for them so they can see what fun we had. What i'm feeling. How much I love them and care for them.

Today we (writing this late at night) went to the park... I pumped early so that we could do some fun things.  We went for a walk, went to another park... made homemade pizza for lunch so the kids could decorate their pizza.  Their pizza actually turned out really well, better than mine.  They helped me fold a little clothes..I pumped again and then we went outside to the hill. We spent a good amount of time out there...even Ella was happy.  We ate our snack, sang songs, etc.   After supper, we took baths, and then had a fire. We roasted marshmallows for smores, played cards, and packed our backpacks.  So many memories in our weekly fire and marshmallow roasting.    And then off to bed. I cried a little as I prayed - but not too much.  I think God took over then.   I will write more later as to how the day went.... but I think Kate knows just how very loved she is and how much we will all miss her.   Good night, sweet love. You will always be my baby girl.