Intentional

There's been so many times I think about writing and then forget.  Or, simply, I don't have time.  I feel like the stretch of super business is finally over, only to draw right into harvest! It doesn't have to be busy.... well, yeah, it will. It's not exactly busier for me throughout the day..... just at night I suppose when Peter is gone.  I usually spend a good 45 minutes to an hour with Ella before bed, and Peter takes care of baths, snacks, and putting the older two to bed. I nurse, and then feed, then rock, and then pump.  I'm going to have to figure out a different way to do this if he is going to be working later every night :( Yet, I don't want to always have to give up nursing..... because of it being SO busy the last couple weeks, Ella will only nurse on one side. She keeps spitting it out and then trying to latch on... she gets frustrated when it doesn't come out fast.  This morning though I enjoyed snuggling in bed with her and nursing her for a good 5 minutes and then holding her hand.  I've unfortunately noticed that the whole week I was getting a good extra half an ounce to an ounce has slowly disappeared. Once in a while I get more than I "should" but not lately.   It's kind of a disappointment. Peter says he can't wait until 6 months of Ella's life so that I can be done pumping. It has been stressful on all of us.  I just don't know how I could give it up.  I can't explain it, but it is just an attachment I have...and letting go of that is like letting go a little part of Ella! If only I had more milk.  Yet I make just enough for her..... why do I stress about it!

It will be nice, though, when I can be done. I just only feel better about it when she is 10 months or older. Even then I have a hard time letting it go.  I am excited (really excited) when i can have more time to exercise, read, and mostly sleep. Play with the kids........ be with peter.... more time to keep the house looking better...   I think i just need to be in prayer more that it is just a short time in life, and to enjoy it as much as I can!! My attitude is going to shape this whole summer.  I am blessed! Sheesh, I have three healthy girls! 

Today we got up, had breakfast, and went for a walk to the post office and to the store. Kate had colored some pictures for someone and wanted to mail it to them. So i let her write out her address and we got the stamps and she put it on and mailed it herself.  Then this morning we came home and made out own pizzas. Both of them rolled it out and decorated with their fav. toppings.  I want to be intentional these days to just enjoy my beauties.  They are super precious!