I finally got in a better mood, sorta, and when Peter finally came home Maddy was really getting to me. Crying at my feet as I was trying to make supper. Finally I screamed at him to take her. I got to leave at 7:45 for my .... I don't even know what to call it. Originally it was discipleship training, but now we're not training anymore... it is a 2-group bible study... and looking for our third member. We're praying about who to ask to join or some 'hungry' individual. We meet at the church in Kennedy. Anyway... it went real good last night.
I decided last night that I cannot sleep in. I suffered the day because I could have had an extra 45 minutes (roughly) to get things done and I didn't. So, today I was going to wake up early. I was... and I did... but so did Maddy. Exactly two minutes after I had woken up, she did as well. At this point, I am extremely bitter. I got her out of the crib, in tears, plopped her on the couch and threw the same phone used to wake me up into the fireplace. And it broke. I immediately ran to put it together and cried some more. It works, but I can no longer see anything on the screen.
I had two choices:
- Be upset and let Satan get the best of me
- Read my bible and do as planned, even though Maddy is up.
"Hear the words of your Commander in Ephesians 6: 10-20."
- Realize your natural limitations. We cannot enjoy spiritual victory without actively calling on the power of God. We are only strong when we are in the Lord and in His mighty Power. I didn't do that today. Instead I tried to fight Satan myself... "leave me alone satan!! Stop ruining my life!"
- Remember the full armor. Don't underestimate the enemy's ability. He is an expert archer. He's had at least six thousand years of practice on human targets. HE WON'T WASTE ARROWS ON WELL-ARMED PLACES. He will aim for the spots you and I have uncovered. Not every problem we have is warfare. Yes Satan is ultimately at the origin of every temptation, but we are not perpetually go hand-to-hand with principalities of darkness. Some of my problems have resulted from personal rebellion. Sometimes I sense satan is very actively opposing my life. Other times, I sense he is more passive, because he sees me doing a fine job of getting myself into difficulty. We are wise to pray for discernment to know the nature of our problems. Sometimes the prescription is repentance. Other times it is the fortification against the evil one.