Gratitude

I'm really having a tough mid-morning/afternoon, so instead of thinking about that, I want to think of all the things I'm thankful for. I know it is Satan attacking me because I just got back from a good bible study.  What a jerk.

#1. Even if we have all been sick for weeks, and possibly a new sickness arriving, they are healthy. They are not malnourished and they are clean. So, thank you God that we have our health. (Take that Satan!)

#2. I am thankful for a bountiful crop. Im truly thankful. We went into this year with rain and crummy attitudes, and in the end, God always provides what we need. I'm thankful that God is convicting us each year to give more and more, to use HIS money, not ours. Pr.19:17 He who is kind to the poor lends to the LORD, and he will reward him for what he has done. (NIV) 

 ^{Malachi 3:10: 10} Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the LORD Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it.

#3. I am thankful I have opportunities to worship. To be in bible studies. To pray out loud with other Christians. I am really thankful I am in my small group Triad. It has been a huge blessing. I am thankful I am forming close friendships with people who have the SAME convictions as I do! It is a pure joy, a pure joy to have friends who are in the same spiritual steps as I am.

#4. I am thankful that Satan's got nothing on God. I feel much better now. I should do this every time!

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

full armor and discernment

It seems like I am always saying this: "Today was a trying day".  It's getting old. I think a fact is that Satan is really trying to get me down. Yesterday I never woke up to read and work out... so I suffered the rest of the day for it. Maddy decided not to take a nap (surprise!) so I didn't get my workout in, or really anything for that matter. Just the day before I had said : Make the best use of your time this week... you've got so much to do!" So when Maddy wouldn't nap yesterday, I became angry that once again, she had messed up my plans. My plans. Ugh, I need to get over myself.

I finally got in a better mood, sorta, and when Peter finally came home Maddy was really getting to me. Crying at my feet as I was trying to make supper. Finally I screamed at him to take her. I got to leave at 7:45 for my .... I don't even know what to call it. Originally it was discipleship training, but now we're not training anymore... it is a 2-group bible study... and looking for our third member. We're praying about who to ask to join or some 'hungry' individual. We meet at the church in Kennedy. Anyway... it went real good last night.

I decided last night that I cannot sleep in. I suffered the day because I could have had an extra 45 minutes (roughly) to get things done and I didn't.  So, today I was going to wake up early.  I was... and I did... but so did Maddy.  Exactly two minutes after I had woken up, she did as well.  At this point, I am extremely bitter. I got her out of the crib, in tears, plopped her on the couch and threw the same phone used to wake me up into the fireplace. And it broke. I immediately ran to put it together and cried some more. It works, but I can no longer see anything on the screen.

I had two choices: 

1. Be upset and let Satan get the best of me
2. Read my bible and do as planned, even though Maddy is up.

After much debate, I chose the bible. I read 3 chapters, though very bitterly at first... and allowed God to soften my heart and I chose love. Even if occasionally during my reading Maddy would squirm in my lap and start whining (she wanted to be held, but then would complain) I began to feel annoyed again but it went back down. Normally when they wake up they get to watch one episode of either Blues Clues, Oswald, or another good show... so I let her watch that while i went into the other living room and did 20 minutes of my workout. They were interrupted by her coming back and forth but that's ok. It got done.  I'm so glad I chose this option instead of being bitter and I can honestly say I am in a pretty good mood. When Peter got up, I cried to him about my phone and he is now fixing it, (or trying to). He has always been so so supportive of my working out and reading.... the first thing he asked was: "what do you need to do, you can do whatever you want". How lucky am I. Two days ago when I was reading my Beth Moore bible study, she was talking about Satan. She said this:

"Hear the words of your Commander in Ephesians 6: 10-20."

•  Realize your natural limitations.  We cannot enjoy spiritual victory without actively calling on the power of God. We are only strong when we are in the Lord and in His mighty Power. I didn't do that today. Instead I tried to fight Satan myself... "leave me alone satan!! Stop ruining my life!"

•  Remember the full armor. Don't underestimate the enemy's ability. He is an expert archer. He's had at least six thousand years of practice on human targets. HE WON'T WASTE ARROWS ON WELL-ARMED PLACES. He will aim for the spots you and I have uncovered. Not every problem we have is warfare. Yes Satan is ultimately at the origin of every temptation, but we are not perpetually go hand-to-hand with principalities of darkness. Some of my problems have resulted from personal rebellion. Sometimes I sense satan is very actively opposing my life. Other times, I sense he is more passive, because he sees me doing a fine job of getting myself into difficulty. We are wise to pray for discernment to know the  nature of our problems. Sometimes the prescription is repentance. Other times it is the fortification against the evil one.

I am working on putting verses up all around my house so that when I feel attacked or just need an encouraging "word", I can read it and memorize.  I can say today... "thank you God for this day". Take that, Satan!!!

Todays Over, Finally

First of all, here is an almost updated picture of the swingset. He is over half done, believe it or not. He built the picnic table (right where he's standing, under the first floor). He might finish it this weekend!!

And here is a card I made a few days ago. I am liking using fabric and buttons: my new favorite thing.

Right now I am eating cheetos. I just recently had a frustrating day and I am blaming Satan 100% for that! I just recently have been hearing so much about Satanic attacks and I am so glad that God is equiping me swords to fight him off. Today really wasn't that bad of a day, but I know it was Satan because it was a series of things that happened that were putting me in a bad mood.

1. I set the dishwasher to delay so it would run when we were done washing up the night before. It ran, but the soap never released so when I went to unload it at 11 am this morning, I had a dishwasher full of dirty dishes and lots more to load.
2. It seemed like every second I'd put something away, Kate and Maddy would drag it out, or drag our 3 more things. I was completely over-whelmed with a house that I could not keep up with.
3. I was trying to vacuum and make dinner at the same time and it just seemed like every possible thing, like phone calls, crying or sad children were keeping me from doing anything.
4. Tried to eat my cold tomato soup and noodles but due to crying and tantrums I could hardly finish my meal.

Doesnt seem very bad, but I was pretty much sweating and banging my toe on things and spilling liquids and etc.  I said outloud, GET OUT OF MY HOUSE SATAN! and I prayed that God would kick him out. (read Luke 8: 4-15, Luke 8 22-39, and especially Ephesians 6

So anyway, it is really frustrating but I am trying my hardest to read and memorize scripture this month. Once a week a new one I will memorize, or maybe a couple a week. That is a goal of mine, and to stay focused. I need to read my devotions every day, not just 4 out of 5 days or 5 out of 7 days, every day. I need to prioritize.  

Tomorrow is Maddy's appointment and we are going to GF. Hopefully that goes well. It's hard because she cries almost the whole way to Grand Forks, and when I give her milk, she drinks for 5 minutes and then purposely drops it. Same with a pacifier. One day when I went I stopped 3 times to pick up whatever she had thrown and then listened to her whine the rest. I just dont know what I am doing wrong or how to end this. She whines when she eats too, and throws her food on the floor. That is why I am vacuuming so much. Any advice would be appreciated.