My devotion time

One of my prayers at night is that I am given wisdom in each situation I'm in. Especially homeschooling, but in all the battles I face each day. How do I get through them?

Proverbs 16:16 “How much better is it to get wisdom than gold! and to get understanding rather to be chosen than silver!”

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. - Jeremiah 29:13

And each day, I most certainly do.  But do I apply it?  Not always. I feel like God is pressing all kinds of things at me... and most are repetitious. But I am not always focused. 

I not only have gotten some good things from Psalms, Proverbs, and devotionals, but from the kids' bible stories too!  Sonlight does a really good job making connections between their books and selections. So it is not by chance that both a bible passage we read today and a story of a missionary were about the importance of prayer. Today we talked about Ahab and how the prophet Elijah had warned him that there would be famine in the land. Ahab paid no attention to him, but after awhile he saw that indeed there was no rain. So he searched for him for three years, never to find him. God sent Elijah back to tell Ahab there would be rain. (The full passage is in 1 Kings 17 & 18) Story short... Elijah went up to the mountain top to pray for rain. 

⁴¹ And Elijah said to Ahab, “Go up, eat and drink, for there is a sound of the rushing of rain.” ⁴² So Ahab went up to eat and to drink. And Elijah went up to the top of Mount Carmel. And he bowed himself down on the earth and put his face between his knees. ⁴³ And he said to his servant, “Go up now, look toward the sea.” And he went up and looked and said, “There is nothing.” And he said, “Go again,” seven times. ⁴⁴ And at the seventh time he said, “Behold, a little cloud like a man's hand is rising from the sea.” And he said, “Go up, say to Ahab, ‘Prepare your chariot and go down, lest the rain stop you.’” ⁴⁵ And in a little while the heavens grew black with clouds and wind, and there was a great rain. And Ahab rode and went to Jezreel. ⁴⁶ And the hand of the Lord was on Elijah, and he gathered up his garment and ran before Ahab to the entrance of Jezreel.

So, an "Aha" moment. Again. 
Prayer.
Seven times he prayed!

I'm so quick to pray once, and then be disappointed that my prayer wasn't answered.  The other story we read was about this man who prayed for several years for missionaries to come and deliver the gospel to his and other children.. the only problem was they lived far away in the jungle, and it was not in the missionaries territories. They would travel 80-100 miles one way to plead with the missionaries. After years of praying, it finally happened. They didn't give up.

I was reading my devotional the other day called A Confident Heart by Renee Swope.  The title was "Praying With Confidence" and the scripture was 1 John 5:14

This is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.

 This is also the same verse that was spoken in church this last week. In the devotional she talked about taking scriptures from the Bible and turning them into powerful prayers. Using Gods word as a guide gave her a new sense of confidence and direction when she didn't know what to say. If you think about it, praying scriptures should give us confidence because we are praying Gods will when we are praying Gods word! Hebrews 4:12 says that Gods word is alive & active. We can ask God to show us verses that we can pray each day so that we can see His word come alive in our circumstances and become active in our lives.  What verses has God been showing you?

And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lords glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.                       2 Corinthians 3:18

You armed me with strength for battle. Psalm 18:39

a calling

Yes.  We started homeschooling.   Why?  People ask that when I tell them.  One said "Interesting".  One person even said, "How do you make time to home school?"   Easy.   Homeschooling is THE priority.  And if you have time to spend with your kids, you have time to home school!

I can think of many reasons why we want to home school, but for now I'll list the main reasons.  Kindergarten.  It's too long.  Five days a week, and every day, all day Kindergarten.  The day before she started I was desperately looking into finding a three day kindergarten for her.  I did find one, but it was also 30 minutes away.  I couldn't commit to two whole hours in the car, especially with a small baby and winters in Minnesota. So, we gave it enough time to make a decision, which happened to be just three or four days.  It helped that Kate (along with probably every kindergartener) was overstimulated and cried about why she had to go every day.

The second reason, which should  be the first reason, was a calling from God. I had been called two years ago only to give in to Satan's lies of inadequacy.   I've learned that every mom has those same thoughts and was encouraged that my love for Kate would drive me to provide the best education for her. Even if it meant stretching me.  How can  you ignore such a calling?

After much, much prayer,( like every hour of the day ) we felt at peace with scripture that jumped out at us, or things we saw/heard.  This is what popped up the Friday we took her out of school:

"Opportunities are always lost when we let fear overrule our faith. When God calls you to a task beyond your abilities, instead of giving in to your feelings, choose to rely on what you know about Him and His promises. By moving forward in faith despite your inadequacy, you will discover the Lord's faithfulness. He always empowers us for the works He assigns."

- Encouraging words this morning from Dr. Charles Stanley

Coincidence?  No. Some people just won't understand. Some will have their opinions. Yet I am trusting in God this season to sustain me and bring me through it.  The teaching part is fun.  I get to read and teach my kids.  What better joy is there than that? What better joy to be able to teach the girls about life and how to live it here at home?  Today they learned about trusting God.  But it also means working long hours on everything else and literally running around the house at times to get things done a little faster! :)  I think honestly one reason why I was unable to breastfeed was that when I'm pumping, at least I get to sit!

And the third reason explains it well in this link under the "1. When & why did you initially decide to home school?" section under all the photos; the very first paragraph.

Though I've only had a week at it, it will take some time to get a good routine down. Obviously the perfect situation is to do it during Ella and Maddy's nap time... but that doesn't always work. I have to work around hours of pumping and feeding, preparing meals, tantrums, tiredness, harvest and giggling and wild girls. I don't know where God will bring us with this.  Maybe it's just kindergarten. Maybe it's first and second grade, too.  I just know that we are taking it one year at a time.

 it is the best thing for our family right now.

blessings

this morning my time with Jesus was sweet.  I went to my triad last night and admitted my failings of reading regularly and also my discouragements. I'm feeling discouraged in sharing the music that God puts on my heart in church as I know some think it might bring glory to the person who is singing, and not to God, which I can understand.

It is fairly hard for me to write a post about this because in so many ways I feel like I am not qualified to sing. There have been more than half of my experiences singing in church or weddings, etc, that I've come off the stage and cried because of how badly I thought I did. It really is a true story. If there is anyone less proud, it is me. There was even one time I was singing in our worship team (right in the sanctuary) that I felt Satan say as plain as day "What are you doing up here.... you can't sing." and I was blown away. Every time I say to myself I'm just not going to sing anymore, I keep getting invitations that are hard to turn down. No matter how much I feel I am not good enough or worry that when I do sing, people might think Why on earth is she up there... does she think she can sing?, I feel like I still get opportunities and that God might still want me to pursue it, just even for the sharing part of it. No, I don't have a super good voice like Kari Jobe, and no, I am definitely not proud, but sometimes we have to do what God calls us to do, especially when he puts a love in our hearts for it.

"What then shall we say, brothers? When you come together, everyone has a hymn, or a word of instruction, a revelation, a tongue, or an interpretation. All of these must be done for the strengthening of the church."

1 Corinthians 14: 26

Another verse (15-17, Chapter 14) talks about how we all have gifts, but what good are they if they are in our minds and no one can say "Amen" to our thanksgiving? We may be giving thanks, but the other person is not edified. That is the whole point of having spiritual gifts! So that others might be blessed!!

Anyway, that was just an encouragement to me. I want to share this with my triad group because we need to share when we are encouraged so that others might be encouraged too! It just really filled a void for me this morning... that even when I am not faithful in my readings to God, he is always so faithful to me in answering my concerns about my services here on earth.  Such a blessing this morning, truly.

song of the week

First of all I'd like to share the song that's been on my heart this week. I think it is crucial for me to explain why this song is important to me. Through these last 8-9 weeks, I have been discouraged by the pregnancy and just being sick all the time with morning sickness along with sickness in our family for a few weeks and just not being able to be my true self. My mood is off, I am more emotional, more tired, -just not myself. So, I was feeling sorry for myself. I remember one specific time coming home from bible study and crying to Peter how I felt and he said "God made you strong to get through things like this by yourself so you can continue to serve others." And it's true. No matter what season I am in, I'm still called to serve. All I needed was some encouragement and I opened my eyes and found ways to serve. And how? The power of the holy spirit.

I have been praying lately that I would just somehow get out of this funk I'm in and like the song, be awakened. I just am tired of focusing on myself. Here are some of the lyrics. Just really all so true what I'm going through:

In our hearts Lord
In this nation
Awakening

[Verse 2:]
Holy Spirit
We Desire
Awakening

[Chorus:]
For You and You alone
Awake my soul
Awake my soul and sing

For the world You love
Your will be done
Let Your will be done in me

[Verse 3:]
In Your presence
In Your power
Awakening

oh boy. So powerful. So, then at church my pastor's sermon was about the holy spirit and basically just being awakened. He talked about Zacchaeus the tax collector, and how he was a pretty mean and greedy man, with a love for money in his heart.  It took the holy spirit to awaken his soul to change his ways.  I don't really know what God is up to, but I'm liking it. Even though it is truly truly hard for me to mourn over kids that really are suffering and DYING because of starvation... if it takes that to open my eyes -- I mean, it's a reality. I can choose to accept that it's really happening or I can turn my head and move on with life. That's a choice that a lot of people have to make each day. But if we choose to let it affect us, maybe the outcome will change? I let myself fall to the ground, sobbing to God on my knees asking him WHY... help these poor kids!! please. It is completely humbling and I don't do it often, sadly, to get on my knees in desperation. In complete surrender. I am willing to give my last cent so that one child can eat instead of waiting every 48 hours like these kids! It wasn't her day to eat. Can you even imagine? Oh my word, I can't. I really can't.  Use me Lord.   

Prayers

Last night, like most nights, I couldn't sleep.  We got back from GF about 9:30 or 9:45 and had to put the kids to bed (poor kids!!) and then we unloaded groceries.  I just hate lying in bed when I'm really tired, and not being able to fall asleep. But I do know, and trust, that it's because God wants me to be praying. Or at least that's how I've felt lately. Yesterday during nap time I had a really nice time just being outside on the deck, listening to music.  I looked at Kari Jobe's you tube channel (my favorite singer) and noticed she had a new video out, promoting her new song.  It's called, You Are For Me.  I listened to that a bunch of times, and then also Revelation Song.  It was a really good way to just spend with God even though I was just listening to music.

It has been really weird, if not disturbing to me what God has laid on my heart to be praying about lately.  I feel that I need to be praying for all the rape victims.  A few weeks ago, maybe even a whole month ago, i heard about this small girl, probably kate's age, who was raped and murdered.  From then on I've just been feeling heavy on my heart to pray for those girls, any age.  Then last night I heard another story of a rape victim.  How AWFUL would that be to have happen to you, someone you love, or your DAUGHTER??!!!   So, I just have been praying hard for those girls... of all ages, because I feel that God wants me to, even if it's just to save one. I pray that he would bring rescue to the girls, and I even pray for the person who is doing this crime.  If you ever feel the need to pray for something like that... do it.  I feel like my prayers might even save my own girls from this.