blessings

this morning my time with Jesus was sweet.  I went to my triad last night and admitted my failings of reading regularly and also my discouragements. I'm feeling discouraged in sharing the music that God puts on my heart in church as I know some think it might bring glory to the person who is singing, and not to God, which I can understand.

It is fairly hard for me to write a post about this because in so many ways I feel like I am not qualified to sing. There have been more than half of my experiences singing in church or weddings, etc, that I've come off the stage and cried because of how badly I thought I did. It really is a true story. If there is anyone less proud, it is me. There was even one time I was singing in our worship team (right in the sanctuary) that I felt Satan say as plain as day "What are you doing up here.... you can't sing." and I was blown away. Every time I say to myself I'm just not going to sing anymore, I keep getting invitations that are hard to turn down. No matter how much I feel I am not good enough or worry that when I do sing, people might think Why on earth is she up there... does she think she can sing?, I feel like I still get opportunities and that God might still want me to pursue it, just even for the sharing part of it. No, I don't have a super good voice like Kari Jobe, and no, I am definitely not proud, but sometimes we have to do what God calls us to do, especially when he puts a love in our hearts for it.

"What then shall we say, brothers? When you come together, everyone has a hymn, or a word of instruction, a revelation, a tongue, or an interpretation. All of these must be done for the strengthening of the church."

1 Corinthians 14: 26

Another verse (15-17, Chapter 14) talks about how we all have gifts, but what good are they if they are in our minds and no one can say "Amen" to our thanksgiving? We may be giving thanks, but the other person is not edified. That is the whole point of having spiritual gifts! So that others might be blessed!!

Anyway, that was just an encouragement to me. I want to share this with my triad group because we need to share when we are encouraged so that others might be encouraged too! It just really filled a void for me this morning... that even when I am not faithful in my readings to God, he is always so faithful to me in answering my concerns about my services here on earth.  Such a blessing this morning, truly.