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Monday, August 29, 2011

nuts.

I feel like all I ever do is complain on here. Yet the very same word complaint is what makes me most dissapointed. It is hard to do your best and still hear complaints about food or giving your child the wrong spoon or a hundred other different things. This morning I worked really hard on some gluten free buns for peter so that he could have barbeques. They really didn't turn out how i hoped... and they tasted a bit more sweeter than an actual bun would taste. So of course in my mind all I filtered in were the complaints. I just wish that I could understand what it would be like to feel 'left out' in that way. I think I am doing a good job in trying to accommodate my husband but I really feel like he's having a really hard time with it. And I feel awful. That is mostly why I try to go out of my way to bake for him so that he doesn't feel that way.

Tonight in our bible study we were talking about the gifts that God has given us and how we need to use them to glorify Him. I feel like sometimes I am just too wrapped up in my little world, making food and trying to please my kids and husband that I could possibly be missing opportunities to be serving others. Or, do you think this is what God wants me to do right now, too? Am I honoring Him with my time by trying to help my husband through this difficult time? I'd love to hear anyone's take on this. I guess I am just confused. I have had so many promptings to bring food out or meals to people who are sick and can't, or lost a wife and probably doesn't cook, or just had a baby.... yet its hard for me to find time to do all of those things because I am trying to serve my family.  Don't get me wrong, I have definitely done some serving to people, just not 100% what I feel like God has nudged me to do. Peter is really not feeling good about this right now... he could use your prayers. I feel like I have failed as a wife tonight because I was hurt that he didn't like anything that I made, which is also hard. Pray for me that I can put a smile on my face and just keep trying.

The Servant of the Lord
 Here is my servant, whom I uphold, my chosen one in whom I delight. I will put my Spirit on him and he will bring justice to the nations. He will not shout or cry out, or raise his voice in the streets. A bruised reed, he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out. In faithfulness he will bring forth justice; he will not falter or be discouraged till he establishes justice on earth.
Isaiah 42:1-4

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