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Wednesday, September 28, 2011
serve
I am trying to squander literally enough energy to type this. I know, I haven't written on here forever and it makes me sad. A few weeks ago, my kids developed bad coughs and I was praying it would pass me by at least until the wedding was over. The wedding was this Saturday, and my itchy throat began Friday night. Luckily I was able to get through the song without gunk in my throat, but all of Sunday through now I have not been feeling well. Monday and today are awful. Poor, poor kids. I am actually thankful Kate gets to go to school because I just haven't been feeling well enough to even play with them! I would say at least an hour of TV has been on, and they've been playing with babies and books, and when I had to make lunch, they played outside for a little bit. Now it is 'nap time'-- hoping Maddy is asleep but kate has 'rest time' now. I couldn't bear to put her down for a nap... she gets to read books and color for a little while.
Though I know this time will hopefully pass soon, it is devastating to me. I'm used to being with them outside, making nutritious meals, doing crafts, etc. The kitchen literally has 20 or more fruit flies from all the old food and garbage lying around, Peter ran out of clean clothes yesterday, there's mountains of trash everywhere, crumbs on the floor, loads (AND LOADS) of laundry needing to be washed, kitchen is unsanitary, the fridge has moldy food in it, (though i've tried picking through some of it), I can't keep up with dishes and when I do, a meal needs to be made. Really the list goes on and on. I can't really do anything about it. It is the busiest time of the whole year (in farming times) and I just have to do it when I can. It has helped already just to write this down.. and though this is all overwhelming to me at the moment, as I cried to Peter yesterday he reminded me that God made me strong to handle situations like this so that I can continue to serve others. Finally, a light appeared in this dark home. There's always serving opportunities and though I am belly-aching about my own, I still have a purpose and I need to serve the best that I can!
It also made me realize that whenever i start to feel like this, God really opens up my eyes to the needs of others. How little my problems seem. Praying that I can have a thankful attitude always and not to get wrapped up in life's worries.
I know how you feel...its so hard to balance everything that is going on. And there is no one that hates a messy house than I do - so I get that! Remember, though, that you are not only caring for Kate and Maddy - you are also caring for the little one inside you. So don't feel guilty for having to put your feet up. It takes a lot of work to grow a human. God knows that, too. Pray for just enough strength to get what HE wants you to get done for the day. And if that's nothing...well then...do nothing. :) Pregnancy is tough work. Bless you for all that you do!
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