strength

{R}ight now I am humming in my head the melody to "soon and very soon". I am also listening to the pounding of the shinglers who started this morning at 6:30 a.m. I keep listening by the kids' door to see if they are up, but they appear to be sleeping and I am okay with that. It was kind of a late night for them since it was our first day of harvest and we got to bring food out and ride with Peter for a little while. I am going to admit something.. Yesterday I was driving to my dentist appointment and I was thinking... "I wonder how the world would be if people were just a little more giving with their time and less selfish." Thinking hard about that-- i really think that might change a lot. These days people are greedy and lots of times just think about themselves. How can I get ahead?  Who will help ME?  What can you do for ME?  So, it just hit me as I was writing this... I wasn't very giving with my time last night. My attitude with the girls was... "let's hurry and get you to bed so that i can do MY stuff".  Sometimes I just feel like a horrible mother.  I feel like I am willing to accommodate Peter and especially Emily while she's here, but what about kate and maddy?  Why am I always in such a hurry to get them to their naps and bedtime?  Change... that is what I need. And though I am praying about this and asking God for change, he just isn't ready to allow that right now and I have to accept it. I know the attitude I need to have or should have, yet I don't do it.  "My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is my strength and my portion forever" - Psalm 73:26.  That is written on my chalkboard above my dining room table.  Ok God... give me the strength!